I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
