Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
