spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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