i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
