We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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