I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
