note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
