Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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