I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Let's paint friendship bongs
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
