If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
