So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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