Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
