PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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