it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
