Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
