I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Blood and glitter go together right?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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