Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
