Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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