Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm bleeding and have questions
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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