i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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