Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
