I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize