no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
