If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize