what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
