just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
