so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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