i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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