God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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