Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
