i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
