Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
