My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
