Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
