jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
