This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
