Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
