When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
