walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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