All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
