you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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