i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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