Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize