I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
