why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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