I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
