i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize