so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
