I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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