her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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