Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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