Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
