did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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