Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
two words: eviction party
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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