he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
