omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
