She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
