absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
