i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
