How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
